10 Joyous Moments

Recalling 10 forgotten joyous moments

I sometimes challenge myself to recall 10 joyous childhood moments

…in sequence

Without the interruption of shadows

or fears

or shame

or distress

Or any of the other feelings which trap my adulthood

in that moment

in those moments

and sully the rest

I imagine my relationship to those 10 moments as the key to my relationship to my manhood, to my vision and power and humanity

Prainha

Nothing but to hunker

down

And let the cold push us together

thighs upon thighs

lips upon lips

and slow holds

and minor shifts

Versus blankets

and armor

and forgetting all the in betweens

of needing to wrap a feeling

in feelings

Just warmth

and deep bass beats

love and no love

while the wind blows

and a tree falls outside

Bx 41, Bx 12… They Don’t Love you

Not in service, Not in Service, Not in service

25 min, 35

Why should I expect the bus to show?

The streets haven’t even been cleared

The snow has gone black and slush

5 doormen, 5 custodians

An ex-con, a new mom

Students, grandmothers, teachers

We all, a slow trudge to Fordham

A slow trudge to Grand Concourse

D train

B train

81st

The M79, the route is clear